Emotion regulation is the ability to manage your emotions so that you feel happy, calm, and well. It involves changing your thoughts or behaviors, sometimes in conscious ways and other times in unconscious ways. Generally, it includes decreasing negative emotion or increasing positive emotion. It is also a form of coping mechanism.
We all have the capability to learn to regulate our emotions and it’s never too late to start. It’s a complex skill that takes practice, but it can be learned through a variety of methods including psychotherapy.
Learning how to self-regulate is important in all areas of life. It can help you feel happier, make better decisions, and even heal faster when facing life’s challenges. It can improve your work and family relationships and your overall health. It’s one of the pillars of emotional intelligence and the key to having healthy relationships and a satisfying life.
Oftentimes, people can get into a cycle where negative feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness can spiral out of control. They may use drugs or alcohol to try to numb the feelings, which doesn’t solve the problem and can actually be more damaging in the long run. They may become withdrawn or isolate from friends and family because of their emotions, which can lead to depression. They may even have trouble at school because they aren’t able to focus. These problems can snowball and lead to more serious issues like homelessness, juvenile delinquency, and even suicide.
Many people who struggle with these issues don’t know how to recognize their negative feelings or have a good understanding of what is behind them. This is because they have not learned the tools to self-regulate their emotions in a healthy way and don’t have the support system around them that can teach them how to do it.
The process of emotional regulation is an ongoing journey that begins in childhood and continues through adulthood. It is influenced by genetics, a child’s natural temperament, the environment they grow up in, and outside factors such as hunger or tiredness.
It is a complex process, and some kids have a harder time learning than others because it depends on their natural temperament and the environment they are in. However, all children can learn to self-regulate if they are provided with the right tools and taught how to do it.
There are five stages in emotion generation and different self-regulation strategies can be used at each stage. Some strategies are conscious and some are not, such as switching the channel when something upsetting is on TV or putting a pause in your response to someone who has upset you.
Parents and teachers can play a critical role in teaching children how to regulate their emotions. They can encourage children to express their feelings and talk about them in a safe, supportive way. They can also teach children how to consciously and unconsciously regulate their own emotions by encouraging them to take some time to think about their responses before reacting, or encouraging them to speak with a friend who can help calm them down.
